Army to improve living conditions now that illegal immigrants will be living on post

Fort Bliss, TX – “No more black mold” declared Army senior leadership while visiting Fort Bliss today. “We’re finally going to invest some of the hundreds of billions of dollars we’re allocated in the defense budget and do something about these living conditions.”

The announcement comes on the heels of the first arrival of illegal immigrants to arrive on Fort Bliss. A detainment camp has been established smack dab in the middle of post with the ability to house up to five thousand children. Thousands more are set to arrive on installations across the country over the coming months, so the Army is taking the necessary steps to get ahead of the arrivals by focusing on living accommodations.

“We feel it’s not appropriate to welcome our new guests into the kind of third world living conditions we’ve subjected many of our soldiers and family members to over the decades, so we’re going to be good hosts by getting the conditions fixed and ready for their arrival” stated Major Bill Derley, a spokesperson for the pentagon.


When asked about the homeless veterans living on the streets outside Fort Bliss, we were told the pentagon can only focus on one crisis at a time, and no one submitted a formal request for veteran homelessness in writing. We’ll continue to update as more installations are identified.

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