Listen, I’ve had just about enough of all the “Taliphobia” going around on social media here lately. Just because a group of men want to make love to their livestock DOESN’T mean their form of love expression should be taken any less sincere.
Like it or not, Terry Taliban is here to stay. If you squared off against Terry over the last two decades, then you may be suffering Taliphobia. I’m gonna need you to chomp, chomp, chomp on your prescribed PTSD meds and get over it, because we’re including terrorists in our inclusivity now.
Now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about Terry and Joe working together in Kabul and what that looked like.
US Troops were literally working side by side on the same patch of earth while Coalition Forces conducted evacuation efforts on HKIA during the last week and a half. Initially, Terry sent their C squad (any livestock will do kind of dudes) who really hated the US. According to our sources, these guys were a huge pain in the ass and would insult us, point their rifles at us and generally just make you not want to invite them over for tea and crumpets. (Pretty much what I would do if I didn’t have massive pussies for leaders.)
They had this annoying practice of rolling our C-Wire off the curb, which would get a really stern response from us in the form of a ‘terp being sent out and a lot of mean staring. (No, seriously, that’s what really happened.)
After a few days the man-jammie version of Terry was replaced by the airsoft-version of Terry who calls himself special forces because he has really cool gear. Of course, he hasn’t done anything to earn that title other than raid a couple foot lockers to find anything resembling what you’d find in a bootleg copy of Hurt Locker.
I’m told they were fairly professional, had trigger discipline, didn’t bunch up on each other (looking at you, 10th MTN DIV….) and didn’t speak.
They controlled the flow of people who came in the South Gate. If they were told six vehicles were passing with certain license plates, certain delegation and had specific documents, they’d allow them through.
If random people showed up and numbers didn’t match or the names were wrong, they’d shut down the gate or kill people for loitering. Our troops would give them the information of Americans so they would be positively identified and allowed through the gate. (I’m not weighing in on that one. It’s real, and I don’t like it, but it happened.)
Why would the Taliban play nice you ask? They were aware that if they cooperate, we would leave the airport for them in tactically useful condition. (‘Cause we’re swell like that.)
Towards the end of the whole ordeal, Terry was heavily involved in fighting with ISIS on a day to day basis. An IED placed by ISIS killed several Taliban, so they weren’t very happy. They even rolled up with a truck mounted DSHK simply to keep ISIS off the airfield.
Our guys reported seeing tracers in the sky and the sound of fighting fairly often in the city.
Terry wasn’t altogether a terrible dance partner though. They brought our troops food and energy drinks and would ride bicycles backwards and pop wheelies along the street in front of our guys.
They called this dude “Evel Knievel”
They made sure they let us know they were still our enemy though by taking shots at our snipers. They knew our ROE stated we could only return fire if directly engaged, and since pop shots couldn’t be observed from their point of origin, they’d get away with it.